By, Liz from BabyBlooze.com
After cleaning out the junk room, I came across an old issue of Martha Stewart Kids from 2006. There is an adorable brownie/blondie dessert featured in it — a large platter of blondies (non-chocolate brownies) on top of a large platter of regular brownies with a Scotty dog cut-out of each, transposed to make a great presentation… behold!
I figured I could do the same with a French bulldog cut-out.
My first misstep was baking the brownies too long — they were pretty charred. however, since I would be cutting out the middle in a dog shape, I figured it wouldn’t be too bad.
Next step — baking the blondies. I am a convenience-cook so whipping up a batch on blondies was out of the question. I figured corn bread would be a sufficient substitue (kind of the same consistency, right?) but my husband blanched at that idea. So I decided to use yellow cake mix – a treat no one in our house can refuse.
But me, the ever-multi-tasking mom, decided to roast some eggplant the same time I was baking the yellow cake — the result? The cake was severely undercooked. (as in runny middle – belch).
In the words of Project Runway’s Tim Gunn, I was determined to “make it work” — so as I attempted to cut out a half-baked cake into the shape of a French Bulldog, I started thinking — hmmm… maybe I should have googled a blondie recipe after all.
So, the result is far from perfect — we have pieces of an undone salmonella yellow cake shoved into the brownie dog cut-out. I didn’t even bother making a cute collar and instead used raisins (what could be more vile?) So, BEHOLD — Dog Brownie Fail!
The side-by-side comparison doesn’t help matters at all. Maybe I will nail it next time.
Besides Liz’s culinary fails, you can check out her parenting fails vis-a-vis the crying photos of her kids on http://www.babyblooze.com.
Hmm…the effect is more halloween scaredy-cat than French bulldog, I’m afraid.
Good point! Not only did the whole project become an inedible mass of uncooked egg and runny batter, the thing didn’t even LOOK like a Frenchie — thanks for pointing it out, Peg! ;)
I thought we discussed this … Apparently, Martha always leaves out one critical step. Therefore, any alteration of her already bad instructions just makes it worse.
LOL.
yuck…but a funny yuck. I wouldn’t have had the courage to share! Good for you!
You know, I don’t even think Martha even had instructions for this — we were left to fend for ourselves. I would love to see a mere mortal do this dessert justice
Awww! First, I have to tell you that just attempting this gives you “brownie points” (ha!) with me! I <3 that you wanted it to be a frenchie. :) This isn't the FIRST French Bulldog craftfail… oh no. I beat you to that one.
But anywho, It's not so bad… except for the salmonella.
Amanda, your Frenchie Grendel is SO cute! (cool name too) I enjoyed reading your craft fail http://craftfail.com/?p=282 – at least you didn’t have salmonella as an outcome of the failed cushion. ;)
ADorable and tasty. The first time I’ve seen a dog I would eat. : )
Thanks so much for the laugh – I thought I was the only person in the world who couldn’t follow her directions in a project!
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