To enter a contest at my local quilt shop, I decided to make a team USA sock monkey. Never having made a sock monkey before, I waited until the last minute to get started. By the time my sock monkey was finished, it was 1am, and he still needed clothes.

I wanted to make him a patriotic shirt and shorts. I struggled with the shorts, ripping the same seam at least a half dozen times before declaring it “good enough.”

The shirt was an even greater challenge. Here you can see my finished monkey on the right, and what looks like a poncho as my attempt at a shirt on the left.

I started by accidentally cutting the back and front different sizes. Instead of starting over, I persevered.

The neck hole was too small to go over his head. I cut a slit in the back.

The shirt was not wide enough for the seams to meet at the sides. I top stitched.

I didn’t have the machine threaded with the right color thread. I stitched on anyway.

Finally, I knew it was a bust and went to bed.

The following morning I cut the arms and bottom off a 0-3m onesie, appliqued on a star and letters, and declared it complete. And that is when I realized the sock monkey book I had bought had directions for making sock monkey clothes.

That is how I perfected the recipe for a CraftFail.