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Paisley Pigeon Poop Patio of Pain

stencil umbrella poops

Sprucing up an old sun umbrella with stencils is a great project to beautify your back yard and extend the life of your patio furniture.

Except when it isn’t, as CraftFail reader Michelle explains:

I was adding a stamped and stenciled design to a faded sun umbrella. Got all the paint applied, and I was happy ’cause I thought it was actually turning out quite pretty. The umbrella was understood to be waterproof outdoor fabric, but I used some thick canvas paint cloths underneath, just in case of spills.

stencil umbrella

When I peeled up the fabric and the paint cloths, I discovered the paint had bled through and dried on the porous (and expensive) patio stones. I spent two hours on hands and knees, cussing, occasionally weeping with rage, as I applied a wire brush and paint remover. There are still ghosts of the stencil that won’t come out at all, the stinkin’ paint stained the stones.

stencil umbrella oops

Saddest of all, my husband and I kinda hate the finished project!  The antique white color, combined with the irregular blob-like stencil pattern, was a bit of an unfortunate choice. From afar, It looks like the umbrella was crapped on by a flock of large and extremely incontinent birds.

Talented birds, though – birds that poop in paisley.

Wait, what? Let’s see that finished product again…

stencil umbrella poops

I’d like to reassure Michelle that this doesn’t look like paisley poop, but… Yeah, paisley poop.

For more laughs, visit Robyn at Hollow Tree Ventures¬†– when it comes to making sun umbrellas pretty, she has it made in the shade (because she doesn’t even try).

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