Paisley Pigeon Poop Patio of Pain

stencil umbrella poops

Sprucing up an old sun umbrella with stencils is a great project to beautify your back yard and extend the life of your patio furniture.

Except when it isn’t, as CraftFail reader Michelle explains:

I was adding a stamped and stenciled design to a faded sun umbrella. Got all the paint applied, and I was happy ’cause I thought it was actually turning out quite pretty. The umbrella was understood to be waterproof outdoor fabric, but I used some thick canvas paint cloths underneath, just in case of spills.

stencil umbrella

When I peeled up the fabric and the paint cloths, I discovered the paint had bled through and dried on the porous (and expensive) patio stones. I spent two hours on hands and knees, cussing, occasionally weeping with rage, as I applied a wire brush and paint remover. There are still ghosts of the stencil that won’t come out at all, the stinkin’ paint stained the stones.

stencil umbrella oops

Saddest of all, my husband and I kinda hate the finished project!  The antique white color, combined with the irregular blob-like stencil pattern, was a bit of an unfortunate choice. From afar, It looks like the umbrella was crapped on by a flock of large and extremely incontinent birds.

Talented birds, though – birds that poop in paisley.

Wait, what? Let’s see that finished product again…

stencil umbrella poops

I’d like to reassure Michelle that this doesn’t look like paisley poop, but… Yeah, paisley poop.

For more laughs, visit Robyn at Hollow Tree Ventures¬†– when it comes to making sun umbrellas pretty, she has it made in the shade (because she doesn’t even try).

7 Responses to Paisley Pigeon Poop Patio of Pain

  1. Michelle L says:

    Sad. So sad. Thanks for putting my poop on display, Robyn!

  2. robyn says:

    Oh, believe me, it was my pleasure! My only regret is that you probably don’t have more stenciled sun umbrellas to send me pictures of. ;)

  3. Funnier still will be when it rains and washes the paint off of the water proof umbrella and onto the stones… for more pooh look alike stains.

  4. Funny! I love Michelle and her awesomeness, but I never saw this umbrella before! Way to go Michelle!

  5. Diane says:

    This is so funny…. sounds like something I would do, except that I probably would have left the paint spots on the brick and claimed they really were bird poop. This post made my day!!

  6. Sara says:

    First example for ages of a genuine craft failure rather than someone just half-assing it or being inept for laffs.

  7. ElmoLikesBread says:

    I’m more devastated at the patio stones than the umbrella. Completely ruined! I’ll be honest, I cried a little.

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