How Jabba the Lamb Saved Facebook

lamb cake

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that, occasionally, I want to burn Facebook to the ground and salt the earth where it stood.

Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh, but sometimes it does seem like a huge time suck with very little payoff. I scroll, and scroll, and scroll, and instead of seeing updates from the pages I’ve “liked” or funny jokes or news from my friends, I get eleven jillion ads, followed by three humble-brags, a photo of someone’s kitchen that’s way cleaner than mine will ever be, and a workout update from someone I haven’t seen since third grade.

But then, something comes along that completely redeems Facebook.

For me, that something was cake. Specifically, a cake made by my newest Facebook BFF – let’s call her Flannery. Because that’s her name. Or at least, that’s what she tells me.

See, she was the friend of a friend on Facebook (now just a friend, because you know I’ll e-stalk anyone who has a sense of humor about their terrifyingly horrible baking, until they finally relent and acknowledge my existence by accepting my friend request and then, probably, immediately blocking me) who posted that she borrowed a lamb cake mold from a buddy. Her buddy, Lizbeth, had used a similar mold to make the cake pictured above.


Of course it is. So Flannery decided to make one, too. Except, instead of a sweet, peaceful lamb, hers turned out like this.

lamb cake failWhat’s my favorite part? Is it the vacant M&M eyes? Is it the the hope that maybe this purple Jabba the Lamb lump finally killed and devoured Barney? Is it the fact that the whole cake appears to be oozing, slug-like, backwards out of the pan? Is it the uncanny resemblance to a Peep that’s been left on a hot dashboard for several hours?

No, my favorite part has to be the way Flannery tells the story of this unfortunate-looking cake’s birth in It Puts The Frosting on the Lamb on her site, The Connor Chronicles. So. Funny.

And, of course, my second favorite part is having my faith restored in Facebook by finding a funny new friend (WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT) and a funny failed cake. I knew there was awesome stuff on there, somewhere. I just knew it.*

*I didn’t really know it.

lamb cake nailed itFor more funny join Robyn of¬†Hollow Tree Ventures, who’d like to leave you with a final image of what you’ll never be able to un-see if you Google “purple lamb” and forget to add the all-important word, “cake.”

purple lambYou’re welcome.



8 Responses to How Jabba the Lamb Saved Facebook

  1. Suniverse says:

    I am no fan of Facebook, but you’re right, this lamb cake and you finding Flannery totally redeemed it.

    And where the ever-loving hell did you find that picture of the lamb in the leotard? WHY DOES THAT EXIST?

  2. robyn says:

    @Suniverse, my only explanation for the lamb leotard is this: the Internet. It is a deeply disturbing place. Thanks for sharing Flannery with me! :)

  3. Anna says:

    I think both cakes have a special something! I also like how Jabba the Lamb is like “this pan can’t hold me!” and kinda clomps over the side.

  4. Ariel says:

    I can explain the real purple lamb. That’s called a sheep sock. Show sheep wear them to keep them from getting really dirty before the show. You don’t want to put hours into shearing and washing your sheep, then have it lay down and roll in a puddle of pee or something right before your show lol.

  5. Jess says:

    Again- in tears over here… Off to read Flannery’s version of the events. Could it possibly get any funnier? I’m hoping it sheds some light on the “purple”. @Robyn- I adore you. Just sayin’.

  6. robyn says:

    @Jess, you have no idea how happy that makes me – thank you!

  7. Andy Peterson says:

    To Flannery and Robyn!! One word: Priceless Funny**
    I had tears of laughters reading this story. So funny!! I loved the Barney bit LOL

    **Okay that was two words…blaming it on my twin sister who got all the brains)

  8. yenta says:

    How have I not heard of this site before now???
    This is WONDERFUL!!
    Ok…I’ve made “lamb cakes” for many yrs now…+ TRUST me when I tell you I’ve had all kinds of epic fails…decapitations, concaved bodies, the body split in 1/2, frosting sliding off,loss of “eyes”, unable to remove from the pan, fallen over…..yup I’ve done it all, but not this.
    This is hysterical!! Now, I’ll have to read how this went down.

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