We got our very first craftfail submission via the new form! Yay!

From: Amy T.
Subject: FAILFELT

Message Body:
Long, long ago, I bought neon pink and neon green yarn thinking, “This will make a great robot hat!”  Several months later when I had finally finished all necessary knitting projects before I could devote time to it, I decided instead to make it a skull and crossbones hat.  The pattern was a mish-mash between the pattern for the felted “God Save the Queen” hat in “Pretty in Punk” and the skull and crossbones fair isle pattern featured in “Son of Stitch ‘n Bitch”.  I had successfully knit and felted two hats previously using the same kind of yarn with the “God Save the Queen” hat as a basis, so of course this one would be no problem at all, right?  Wrong.  I’m no good at fair isle and my first attempt at knitting it was too small to even fit on my head prior to felting.  So I frogged and started again.  I thought I had something and instead of doing the logical cautious move of felting by hand, I machine-felted (the method I had successfully used with two other hats).  The results were a hat that no human could wear.  Hopefully neon skully hat mk III will be a success.

Mickey the Crack Mouse

By Notagirlymom

I had some leftover soft cotton/acrylic blend yarn from a washcloth I made so I decided I was going to make a stuffed thing. Only I figured, “Pattern? Eh! Patterns are for sissies! I DUN NEED NO STEENKEEN PATTERN!”.

I ended up with Mickey the Crack Mouse. *LOL*

His ears aren’t quite right, not really rounded at all, just little rectangles sewn onto his head. The thread I used to make his nose I thought was more pink than orange..until I sewed it on and got a good look at it. I also realize that mice do not typically have greenish eyes..but I liked the color so I went with it, even if his eyes do look a little funky. The tail I made by knotting three strands of pink thread together the way I used to do to make these funky sort of spirally friendship bracelets way back when. Yeah..those are skills I never thought would come in handy again.

He also has no legs/feet. He’s a ground mouse.

I know he’s kinda ugly..so ugly he’s kinda cute in a weird, cracktastic way. :-D

I’ve been walking my french bulldog, Grendel a little more because of the nice weather, but I find that he can’t make it long distances without stopping in the shade for a nice rest and drink along the way. I don’t like standing while I’m waiting on him to cool down, so I’ve been staining my rear on the grass for the last few walks.

Solution: Make one of those bleacher cushions! I want mine to be cuter though, so only one side with be vinyl and I’ll make it out of that adorable flannel I have!

He’s worth it, right!?

Sweet idea, right? Well, as you can see, the idea was pretty sweet, but the execution…

Let’s just say that I KIIINDA forgot how to put in a zipper.

and let’s mention, that when I decided, “Meh, I’m just going to sit on it, who cares if the zipper is crud?!” the zipper fell off the end because I’m stupid and TOTALLY didn’t secure the end of my zipper.

Oh yeah, the zipper was there so I could stuff it. I HATE working with heavy vinyl. It wouldn’t turn when I sewed it the first time. That’s why that zipper got put there in the first place. GR!

I hope it at least got a laugh. I know I laughed and LAUGHED!!!

Not all of my work is garbage, I promise!

By Lesley Karpiuk (pinktoque) of The Pink Toque Craft Blog.

Fat dog in a little coat… or is it just really a too-small coat for my dog? While my border collie/brittany spaniel Oliver is a tad bit on the heavy side these days (read: fat), honestly I think this coat I tried to sew for him last winter was just made too small in the first place, and has nothing to do with his weight. Though the strap looks like it sorta fits in the photo, I can guarantee you it doesn’t actually fit around Oliver’s girth.

Oliver is such a good sport. He’s looking at me as if he knows that this coat is way too small for him. It’s like, “Mom, I look ridiculous.” and yet he still humors me.

Maybe I should’ve measured my dog first?  Measure then sew? What a concept. Looks like I need to give this dog coat away to a friend who has a smaller dog than I.

This is definitely a craft fail.